ELEVENELEVENELVEN

So yeah. Even though I've been a failure these past two-or-so months, at least I haven't forgotten the yearly squidfeathers tradition of alternate universe comics. Also, HAPPY SKYRIM FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PRE-ORDERED IT. I did not. I am ashamed. Also, happy veteran's day, for those of you who celebrate it. I have veterans in my family, too, but they were... kind of... on the other side of the war. Sooooo yeah. Anyway, here's the first comic celebrating 11-11-11!!

I kind of didn't have a scanner (I'm at a hotel in Pasadena right now for some reason... I woke up tied to a bed that smelled like vodka, but whatever), so I took pictures of my comics with a camera phone. I will get better quality pics if I can.

For clarification, Joel is not coming back alive. You're welcome.

The Medusa 2000 is patent pending. All those who violate the patent and it's conditions will be subject to being turned into stone and being placed artistically on a fountain in Stan's backyard. He enjoys exterior decorating.

If you can translate what I said in the third-to-last panel, you win a prize! If you are fluent in the language you are disqualified, and if you get someone who is fluent to tell you what it says, you are also disqualified, and if you get someone who knows someone who is fluent to tell you what it says, then you are ALSO disqualified. And if you use Google translate, then I laugh at your face.

With Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, and Weapons of Mass Destruction,

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDI teh artist

AHAHAHAHA SUCKERS

From what i heard, the dance sucked

it reeked, it blew, it f**ked,

AHAHAHA SUCKERS

People got mad

and others got sad,

AHAHAHA SUCKERS

dates got trashed

people got mashed,

AHAHAHA SUCKERS

as dreams and hopes

crashed to the ground

lies were wrought

hell was found

AHAHAHA SUCKERS

you stupid fools

who trusted the hacks

who said this dance

was worth a damn

and beyond all that

a great shazam

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STUPID STUPID SUCKERS

Thats right, thats what you get for going to a dance. Learn from your mistakes!

How to Be Hip

Ah, to be hip is a dream sought after by all.
What is "hip" you might ask? Well "Hip" defined in modern words
means things like "cool" and "Happening", ya know, "AWESOME".
With 'hip'ness comes great responsibility, so if you are to follow
this advice be aware of the consequences.


Difficulty: Moderately Easy




Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A gym membership
• Hair products
• shirts with collars
• cool sayings
• 
  

1. 1
   If you have facial hair you are gonna wanna shave it off. Hip people think facial hair is dirty and jive, especially if you are a girl...Shave. No Varsity cheerleader/football player is going to want to make out with you in the backseat of your/his 65' mustang if you're not cleanly shaven and moisturized.
2. 2
   Your definitely going to have to pluck/wax/duct tape your eyebrows. Being Hip requires having 2 neatly shaped eyebrows, not one generic caterpillar crawling above your eyes. Take care of that and then move to step 3.
3. 3
   Its all about the clothes. If you have khakis then throw em away. Tight blue jeans are the only way to go here. If your jeans arent Levi's then your only a fake Hipster...get some Levi's man.
   
   If you dont own collared shirts, get some. Try to get every color imaginable, in long and short sleeves. When wearing a button shirt, never button it just leave it open to show your cool and hip white tee under it. Always, i repeat, "ALWAYS" pop your collar. Can you feel your awesomeness seeping out already?
4. 4
   White reebok tennis shoes...all white, nothing else.
5. 5
   Silver chain necklaces are the way to go. Gold is so 1998 and overdone by the mafia. Also a hoop ear ring in one ear (preferably the left for guys). Those are the only jewelry standards for being hip.
6. 6
   Practice your speaking. Use words like "RIGHTEOUS" and "GNARLY". Basically the more like a surfer you sound, the more hip you will become. Remember though, there is east coast hip and west coast hip. Dont get caught being East coast hip on the west coast or its your neck. Do your research.
7. 7
   Use the picture of Zack and A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell as your bible. Watch re-runs of the show to really get a vivid idea of what being hip is all about. Never ever use Screech as an example for hipness.
   
   

   Tips & Warnings

   • Always ignore nerds, stuff them in lockers when necessary
   • Always drive with your car's top down, even in the rain
   • When the teacher asks for your homework simply say...."You know im too cool for school"
   • Never say Yo more than once in a sentence, NEVER.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     yo everyone wazzup? yo all kno i've just been chillin', like "yo yo yo!" and junk. so, yo, i was lookin' around teh interwebs and saw this "yo yo yo" worthy article! just sayin, yo! y'all know i'm too cool for school, yo.
     *shoves nerd in locker then drives away in a convertible in the rain*

And then i was flowers

I was so bored at school today I made this. Took and awesome face, tossed it into photoshop, and made it me. I used a mouse, so it looks bad. And i put it on a flower. hence the name. And yes, this is me tripping balls.